I am working at improving my eating habits.  They stink and I’m the first to admit it.  I’ve never enjoyed cooking for myself yet I’m a very capable cook.  It’s frustrating.  So while I’m not aiming to cook every night, I will try to prepare a meal a few times a week.  Tonight’s effort reflected the hot weather.  I determined to make something refreshing, healthy and edible.  I succeeded.  It looked a little funky but it was filling and tasty.  I’m not immune to trying new things.  I love carbs like rice and potatoes.  I wanted a salad-type meal but also wanted a small amount of carbs.  I ended up with some brown and red quinoa and dumped it on to the bed of lettuce.  Joining it was some sliced cucumber, sliced chicken breast, and some fat-free cottage cheese.  Normally I eschew the fat-free dairy products but the cottage cheese is good and doesn’t upset my stomach.

I found an unopened jar of salsa in the fridge, checked the expiration date, and used it as dressing for my salad.  This is a huge departure for me.  But it worked.  A little later I’m looking forward to some pieces of watermelon.

I can’t begin to count how many times I’ve tried to improve my eating habits.  I’m an over eater, sometimes a binge eater.  To me, it’s a weakness and a character flaw.  No matter how much I read about the psychology of overeating, I can’t help but blame myself.  But I keep trying to make changes.  And if this doesn’t work, I will try something else.

Four days in, my insulin dosage a far less than usual.  I’m not feeling the increased energy yet but it’s day 4 and my system is still adjusting.  However I’m wearing the old Fitbit again and exceeding my step goal each day so that’s a positive.  As a once very active person, I’ve become very sedentary.  The more I resist activity, the harder it becomes.  No duh.  I’m trying not to expect perfection because the disappointment sabotages me.  I must remember that even if I make one small change per day, I’m on my way to better habits.

Thanks for letting me vent.