I have so much to learn about friendship. It seems all I once believed in doesn’t count for much anymore. I was taught friends stuck by each other through thick and thin, communicated, believed in one another. Over the years I’ve discovered “friends” are quick to vanish, “friends” say things and then do the opposite, “friends” reject you and aren’t willing to explain the reasons.
Life is too short for that type of behavior. Have I always been a model friend? No, I’m human but I’ve tried damn hard. If anything, I’ve been too generous in my friendships. I also hold myself to high standards. I’ve been loyal to many I counted as friends, even defending them to detractors, only to feel the emptiness of desertion. Yes, I know, that’s life. But it isn’t my life. When I’m your friend, I give you a piece of me. When you decide I’m not worthy of your time, that piece goes with you. I hope it allows you to reflect before you decide to do that to someone else.
Trust isn’t a concept I embrace, for many reasons. It takes me a long time to trust. I am no longer trusting. You gained my trust and you rejected it. You will never have it back nor will you ever have my respect.
I will continue to work on being a better person. I have never stopped. My close friends are able to see past the smile on my face when it isn’t reflected in my eyes. They care, they want to help, they want to laugh with me, they want to cry with me, they want to help celebrate my life. They don’t care about being the best dressed, sporting the best jewelry, wearing the latest fashions, following the latest diet trend. Like me, they enjoy the simple things: a good book, a sunny day, a good piece of bread.
To my former “friends,” shame on you and the judgmental boat you rode in on. You missed out on a good thing. More’s the pity to you.
To my real friends, God bless you for believing in me. The best is yet to come!