Behind my laughing, calm facade is a constant battle between good and evil. No, it’s not a super-hero battle but the one waged between the binge-eating devil and the clean-eating fairy. I haven’t always been obese, just the majority of my adult life. The weight has continued to pile on over the years. I don’t wish to be overweight, yet it may appear I don’t do much to stop it from happening. That thought couldn’t be further from the truth.
Other than saying I feel like a drug addict whose drug of choice is food, I’ve spent years and years attempting to overcome this very unhealthy way of living. I’ve learned it has a name-binge eating disorder-and is classified along with bulimia and anorexia. This once fit athlete struggles to walk around the block. Years of various sports injuries are made worse by the excess baggage that my body has to carry.
Many might say, “So quit complaining and do something about it,” or, “Just stop eating so much!” They have a point, they certainly do. If it was that simple, I wouldn’t look the way I do.
I’m not here to prattle on about my eating challenges. They are what they are. I’m not proud, I’m not happy, but I’m also not helpless.
My firm belief that things happen for reasons will be put to use yet again. This week I will be having arthroscopic shoulder surgery to shave two bone spurs that have been tearing my rotator cuff tendon for years. Chalk those up to a lifetime of playing and teaching tennis, and also from my competitive swimming days when I specialized in the butterfly. I’m not looking for sympathy. I want to showcase this as an opportunity for me to make improvements. Once I heal from the shoulder repair (and carpal tunnel release on the same arm), I plan to start exercising again.
My week or more home for recovery is the time for me to begin to make positive changes in my eating habits once again. I will be fortunate to have Jim here to care for me. Not only is he attentive, he is also a very good cook. So he will monitor my meals and healthy snacks. He and I have a good-natured competition over our blood sugar levels (we both use insulin) and he is far better than I at regulating his food intake.
So I will begin to add to my bracelet in the near future even though I’ve regained the weight I lost. I still deserve the charms I earned from that time period and Jim gave me a beautiful charm for Christmas that reminds me I am not on this journey alone.
People have enjoyed the food pictures and recipes I’ve provided so I will try to continue to do that though I don’t want this to evolve into a food blog. There are plenty of people out there who do the food blog thing better than I.
I know there is roast chicken and beef fondue in my future this week. I will update as I’m able. This is a fight I will win. My fight with food has gone on far too long and its power over me is going to end. I am more powerful than food.
I’ve adopted the mantra from another community of people to which I belong—“Together, we will!” I hate to disrespect Joe Cocker but I will do more than “get by with a little help from my friends.” I plan to blow life out of the water. That’s a promise.