According to the dictionary, the word ‘gratitude” means a feeling of thankfulness or appreciation. Seems like a simple concept, but for me it isn’t. I can say the words, I can feel appreciative, I can express my thanks. But am I truly grateful? I don’t think so.

The battle between head and heart is a constant and ongoing conflict within me. If you’re not sure what I’m talking about, it’s the idea of “I know my head tells me this isn’t an issue, but my heart is telling me something different.” In other words, emotion overrules intellect. I don’t think I would know what to do if these two elements worked in harmony most of the time. However, that doesn’t mean I don’t try to reconcile them constantly. Plus I know this issue retards my progress in some areas.

My journey to better health is stalled temporarily though I am maintaining my weight loss at 18 lbs. Physically I’ve declined a bit as I’m not swimming as I do during the summer and not doing much of anything else to exercise. My intellect knows this isn’t a good practice. My heart tells me something similar though the fatigue factor keeps me stagnant. That said, I am far more active in general than I’ve been in years so I count that as a positive.

Am I moving in reverse? Hardly. I’m fortunate to be experiencing another aspect of life I thought wouldn’t happen for me. An unexpected relationship has added a rich dimension to my life these days. It’s a huge adjustment but one I embrace wholeheartedly. Now, if I can just grasp that gratitude concept…

About thequarryschild

A self-described forensic junkie, Beth Anderson spends her days shaping young minds to ask critical questions and wonder “whodunit.” Beth resides in the Capital District of New York and spends her free time reading and solving the great mysteries. Her love of swimming, tennis and sports provides the basis for one of the lead characters in her new book The Quarry’s Child. Beth is one of the founding members of the Upper Hudson Valley Chapter of Sisters in Crime (aka Mavens of Mayhem), a graduate of the FBI Citizens Academy, a survivor of a visit to an active aircraft carrier while it was at sea, and a published poet in Soundings, a literary journal. Beth continues to instill a love for mystery fiction in her students as she has for over twenty years. Photo credit: Quinn Mulvey
This entry was posted in challenges, gratitude, journey, learning experiences, love, perseverance. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Gratitude

  1. Jill Aul says:

    Congratulations on maintaining your loss so far, Beth! It’s hard to stay focused on weight loss, when other areas of life are tugging at your heart strings, whether in a positive or negative way. I’m elated that you have entered into a relationship! Just do the best you can, and I truly believe you’ll soon be able to multi-task!

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